Thoughts I have while writing: A profane journey beginning to end

  1. Alright, got my cup of coffee ready. I’ve got approximately 15 minutes to write before it’s cold.
  2. Fuck! What am I supposed to title this thing?
  3. Doesn’t matter. Moving on. Gotta do that brain dump thing where I put all my bad writing on paper first.
  4. Well, this is certainly bad writing. It can’t get much worse than this.
  5. God damn it, this post is going to take me forever to write. I wish I didn’t need to use pictures and shit to keep my readers’ attention.
  6. Why can’t there be some sort of organized website to access good, non-copyrighted pictures? I know there are websites like that, but I want one with ALL of the good pictures from Wikimedia Commons. Is that so much to ask? I suppose it is sort of a massive undertaking…still, though.
  7. Should I keep editing that last paragraph? Or should I just keep moving forward? Maybe I’ll just do a quick scan-and-edit of what I’ve written so far. Shouldn’t take me more than a few minutes.
  8. Ok, that was a waste of 30 minutes. Let’s not do that ever again.
  9. ….and, now my coffee is room temperature. Wonderful. Now I have to either make a new cup of coffee, or wait until this one is cold enough to drink again.
  10. How the hell do some of these people have over 400 articles published on a single website? Do they just crank out an article every two days or so? They must drink a lot of coffee.
  11. Actually, 400 articles wouldn’t be that hard if you are willing to sacrifice quality for quantity. I could write 400 articles if I wrote watered down summaries of Reddit comments or tweets from celebrities.
  12. But those aren’t real articles anyway. Where is the writing? My articles have substance. They actually help people. Sort of.
  13. Well, “help” might be a bit strong. I’m not actually doing much for people. Rather, I am throwing words at them in hopes of inspiring them to do something for themselves!
  14. That counts for something, right?
  15. I’ve had at least 10 people tell me that I’ve taught them how to re-heat pizza or tie their shoes! Score!
  16. AH! I came up with a title! Fucking finally!
  17. Let’s move this chunk over here. And this paragraph over here. Oh, and I can definitely remove those sentences. And that paragraph. In fact, let’s just take out every other sentence and paragraph out of the entire damn post!
  18. Perfect!
  19. Let’s publish this on Medium, and share it on Twitter and Facebook!
  20. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! How did I not realize all of these glaring typos? And I didn’t even complete my thought in that paragraph! FUCK! I need to read more closely when I edit.
  21. Why are people still liking the typo-laced article? They probably haven’t even read it—they’re probably just liking it out of pity. Bless them. ☺
  22. Alright, changes are made. NOW it’s ready to be seen.
  23. Hell, who am I kidding? This post is garbage.
  24. Fuck it. Too late now! Only thing I can do now is just keep writing more articles and hope that, eventually, they forget about this one—maybe in time it will be lost to an ocean of articles written by yours truly.
  25. Speaking of which, should I go by Juan Gargiulo on my articles? That’s what everyone in America calls me. (Waaaaaannnnn Gar-jew-low.) Or should I start going by Juan Pablo and aim to pick up some “The Bachelor” fans? Or maybe go the initials route—J.P. Gargiulo has a certain ring to it! Or maybe Juampi Gargiulo? That is what I call myself…
  26. *Sigh* as long as I get more twitter followers, they can call me whatever they want.

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